A reader asked me to discuss this questions.
I have to say, my readers sure ask the tough questions. I'm so thankful for my readers and the great thought provoking questions they ask.
My first thought for "getting through the tough times" is keep moving. Move forward.
It's easy to get stuck in the "why and how" of it all. Why me? Why now? Why isn't this resolved yet? How long will this take? How come this always happens to me?
We are stuck.
What we should be saying is "what." What do I need to do next? What would help me get out of this situation. What can I learn from this?
Ah, the what can I learn from this BS. (right.) But the truth is every difficult time teaches us something. It's just hard to see that when we are in the middle of it.
I'll use my recent car accident as an example. It wasn't a huge accident, I lived, obviously. But for the past two months I've been driving the streets terrified someone is going to hit me, again! Anyone that pulls up quickly behind me, sends me into a panic. And I ask myself "Why am I still so scared?" "How come this feeling hasn't gone away yet?"
Why questions. (poor me.)
What I should be asking is what can I do to resolve this fear? What can I learn from what happened? What can I do to prevent it from happening again?
Something like an accident, where you feel you have no control, it just happens to you, (right?) Maybe, but there is still a message in here.
First, I saw the car behind me. I saw the driver looked distracted. I even had the instinct to change lanes. But thought the typical "that's silly" and stayed in my lane. OK, lesson learned there. Go with gut!
But the most important lesson I learned was from my friend (Craig Sigl). He told me find a resolution.
To get unstuck, to move past the fear, we need to find resolution.
So instead of telling myself "why / poor me." I say "It's over." I don't have to live in a place of fear. I don't get hit by every car. I've only been in the 1 accident. I am OK. I'm safe.
I'm not cured overnight. But I'm feeling better about driving. Every time I have a scare I say the same things over and over. Every day I feel a little better.
So now, in whatever you are going through. Whatever tough time you are having. I challenge you to look inward. Become aware of what you are saying in the midst of your tough times. I challenge you to take action and keep moving. I challenge you to find a resolution.
Become aware of your words, find resolution, and move forward.
You will get through it.
I'll see you on the other side.